Do You Know What to Do When Someone Dies?

Several things need to be considered when a death occurs. The order in which things need to be done usually depends on whether the death occurred at a residence, a public place, a care center, or in a hospital.

• When a death occurs in a care facility, such as a hospital or nursing home, the professional staff will notify you and the necessary authorities. If the name of the funeral home has been left with them, the institution will notify the funeral home at the time of the death. The funeral director will contact you immediately following their notification to help you proceed. (However, we suggest you contact the funeral home immediately, so you’ve got the reassurance you need that all is taken care of properly.)

• If a loved one was in the care of a hospice program, a hospice representative will give family members instructions and procedures to follow. The coroner/medical examiner will be notified will be notified by hospice. Following their release the hospice will contact the funeral home. (It is always a good idea for the family to contact to funeral home immediately so that they will be aware of the pending call.)


• In other situations, such as when a death occurs at home or in the workplace, a family member or co-worker should contact emergency personnel and the person's physician if he or she was under a doctor's care. If the death occurs at home with family or friends present, and the person is under a physicians care, the family will want to call the funeral home directly.

• However, if the death occurs in a residence and no one is there at the time of death, the police will need to be notified and respond to the residence before the deceased is removed from their home.

If in any case you are not sure of who to notify or what to do, you may call your funeral home and they will assist you in notifying the proper agencies.

Widening the Circle
Even if you’ve been aware of who needs to be notified in those first few hours, one of the first phone calls you will need to make is to the funeral home you will entrust with the care of your loved one. Funeral Directors are experienced professionals who can provide information and guidance.

While you may ask the director any questions at this time, you will be able to discuss the arrangements in detail later when you meet in person. During this initial call, the funeral director will gather information to be able to transport your loved one to the funeral home.

The funeral director may ask you several questions, including whether your loved one made any pre-arrangements and whether you give your permission to embalm the decedent, if necessary. The director will schedule a date and time for you to meet at the funeral home and will let you know what you should bring with you.

Others you will need to call are:

• Family members and friends
• Clergy or other spiritual advisors

If your loved one wanted to be an organ donor, inform the hospital staff or the organization which is to receive the donations.

Taking the time to learn the details now will free your energies when they are most needed. You'll not 'spin your wheels' or panic; instead you can be the 'rock' on which others can lean.

It's hard to believe - over a year's gone by!

2008 was a remarkable year for me personally - as I'm sure it was for you too. I've been spending the past 12 months working with funeral service professionals in educating the public; this is a most valuable activity, as most people know little or nothing (out of choice) about what to do when someone dies, or how to handle the depth of the response we have to the passing of someone we love.

So, I'm renewing my commitment to you, the public, to engage in dialog about these most sensitive issues. I'll look forward to questions and comments, to stir the waters, and speed our learning.

Wishing you a wonderful New Year - full of personal growth, health, and prosperity.

Love, joy, and deep appreciation,

Kim